Name: Corey, Wholespoon aka Spermyi

Age: Unknown

Title: Mysterio

Constitution: 18 (+3 vs. Satan)

Jedi Master: THE SILENT ONE

Birthplace: Unkown, but is believed to be Strong Island, NY

Little actual facts are known about the origin of Jedi Sperm. [And he likes it that way.] One of the original settlers of the Astoria region, Sperm has since migrated to the East Village sector of the 'hattan. With the departure of Sperm, Jedi Deeb & J'ave, nothing remains of the old guard.

Back in the days of the old republic, legend tells us that Jedi Sperm trained at the Jedi Academy Middletown North. This was where Sperm met a young Jedi who would seduce him to the dark side, Darth Fast Eddie. It wasn't until Darth Sperm was captured and banished to the prison world of Ithaca that the good in him began to reveal itself again. Only when subjected to torture, college bureaucracy & a strong case of 'Continuus Interruptus' did Sperm come over from the dark side. He achieved Master status and took on a Padawan learner, Jedi Furliss. But it was always Sperm's destiny to lose his student to the dark side. Jedi Furliss was seduced & overcome by the Sith of Toledo. In his many battles with the Sith, Sperm has always been defeated. Jedi Sperm had vowed not to give up. But give up he has. "There is only so much bullshit one Jedi can deal with."

Sperm had migrated to Astoria to find peace and understanding amongst the Jedi. But he quickly realized that he was living in Queens and those things don't exist in Queens. Yes, even in Astoria. Do not be fooled.

Sperm still refuses to take on another Padawan learner. But, he has taken on an assistant. None other than Jedi Kluv. "Who's the Master?!!" "Sperm nuff!!!" "Who's the master?!!!" "Sperm nuff!!!"

Sperm currently spends his days and nights in a land called Stuckeyville. Slave to a man named Ed. Paid by a demon named Viacom. Joined by fellow Jedi: Kluv, China & Diesel. (Well at least Sperm & Kluv spend their days & nights there because they work in the Writers Office, but China & Diesel work in Post, where long hours don't seem to be an issue and AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!) I digress.

Watch "Ed"- NBC 8pm - Wednesdays

Jedi Sperm hates to reveal facts about himself, but in the spirit of things here goes.

During the War of the Jedi, when Deeb was crippled and unable to post from anywhere, it was Jedi Sperm who posted the infamous 'Attack of Nov. 30.' Including the Hall of Fame post "Deeb has dropped the daisy cutter." It was actually Sperm who dropped the daisy cutter and turned the tide of the war to Deeb.

See, this is why Sperm doesn't like to reveal facts about himself.