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Dedicated
to the exploits of the Ithaca Mafia™
and the Astoria Jedi™
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*First Time Visitors, Click HERE Lazy Webmaster and Dedicated Homies (12/6/00) Well, well, well....look who tired of writing his own damn web page after about two months. You're never gunna win a Webbie with that attitude, K-Luv. Ah, well, pay it no mind, because dutiful friend (and, frankly, more talented writer) Jedi Duck is here to pick up the slack. Much like Leonardo DiCaprio was added to "Growing Pains" and those annoying no-name kids were added to "Married With Children" and "Family Ties" to add some pep to an otherwise trite and hackneyed show, I have come aboard to breathe some fresh life into this depressingly redundant website. So what is the deal with the election, huh? I mean, I can't tell the difference between a chad and a Bush. Seriously. And Elian Gonzales. I mean, come on... is this kid worth a war? This journalist doesn't think so. Oh, and if O.J. is innocent, then I've never taken pictures of little boys. Who's with me? Huh? Heh? I mean, GOD! And speaking of God, how about this Jesus fella! I mean, who does this guy think he is anyway? Sakes alive!! I give the guy one little kiss, and KAPOWIE!!, everyone acts like I killed somebody! Besides, 20 pieces of silver can buy a heck of a lot of square cubits of desert-farmland. The chosen people know what I'm talkin' about. Aww yeah... Well, that's all for now, faithful reader. Send a message to this undedicated web-dabbler: you won't tolerate this kind of malaise from your website designer!! I have a feeling the people will have had been spoken(ing). I will be back. Sincerely, P.S. Opinions expressed in columns written by guest artists absolutely represent the feelings and beliefs of the aforementioned web-page designer. Please direct all hate mail and/or death threats to him. Thank you. (What Duck was supposed to be mentionin' in his update was tha' not only do we gotst a new Jedi Bio (Spermy), but that the Review section now be open fo' biz-ness. Punk ass foo'.) --Kluv Gause, Stitches, and Tylenol (12/5/00) Well, here be your Boonton gallery. And I did it all thru the pain of my deformed hand. Manos De Piedros (12/4/00) New Jedi in 'da house: Jedi Klove. Get ready for some new galleries, including my visit to Florida to see Jedi Gimp. But don't expect too much, since I just cut my damned hand open tonight and had to get stitches. Word of advice: don't try to catch a falling glass of iced tea. Posted by Kluv Let Bartlet Be Bartlet (11/29/00) Word to these hype ass lyrics and dope beats. The bio's are a rollin' in, with Jedi Diesel being the next in line to step on up. Keep up the good work folks, and if anyone would like to send some naked pictures of appreciation to these diligent Jedi, please contact the administrator of this web site. I would just like to say that CJ Craig is my new goddess, and if you missed the Wing, you can catch the recaps in a day or two at Mighty Big TV. In fact, if you ever want to read wonderfully smarmy recaps of all your favorite boob toob programs, head on over there. Working on fixing the music page, and stay tuned for a pictorial journey to the mystical land of Boonton. Posted by Kluv Wicked Pissah (11/28/00) Howdy Sliggity's. We took an early respite from "No Mercy" tonight, and so, I am able to provide ya'll with a few updates and tidbits. Firstly, welcome a new bio to the bunch: Jedi Deeb. (Elevational Computing is not responsible for any bouts of insanity caused by the viewing of the Deeb's words. Read at your own peril.) On the smoove tip, our own Jedi DUCK will be playing his first City Gig this Friday the 1st of Diciembre. So go on down and check him out at the Sidewalk Cafe, on the corner of 6th and Avenue A, this FRIDAY at 9:00pm. They have alcohol, a nice pool table, and rumor has it that members of the band "These Nuts" will be in attendance. Go if only to see Duck's shirt (COOLEST-SHIRT-EVER!). Other than that, post on my galldurn message board (Thanks Jedi Mom'O), and write me some suggestions for the site. And if you're a Jedi, and you don't have a bio--THEN WRITE IT AND EMAIL IT TO ME, YA PUNKS! Snootch. Posted By Kluv Players Club (11/20/00) Things are coming along. Jedi O'Neill has added his bio. More to come soon--once we stop playing "No Mercy" on the 64. In the meantime, look at the possible Jedi Page layout, pick up a copy of Chabon's new book, and check the new MYSTERY updates. Snoogans. Posted By Kluv Welcome to Elevational Computing. This is not a unique website. It is not revolutionary. It will not cure hunger. It will not do much more than provide me and my friends with a certain sense of celebrity. And isn't that what everyone wants? So, welcome. My friends and I live entertaining lives. Here you will find the most comprehensive (and only) site around about our likes, dislikes, and exploits. And since I'm a fucking dork, I refer to our little group as the Astoria Jedi. Perhaps we will be the only ones to actually pay a visit to this little site. Perhaps there will be a few strangers who stumble upon us. Either way, you'll be able to find all sorts of facts, stories, pictures, and recommendations around here once I get it all working. Until then, be amused. And if nothing on this site amuses you, than please read a book (You will find many suggestions on the pages herein). If you can't read, then go watch wrestling, ya dirty hick. Kluv
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**
UPCOMING MAFIOSO EVENTS **
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I
know not Baseball
Oh
taco goodness
*Submit your own haiku @ the Messageboard! |
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