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One Ring To Rule Them all. (8/8/01)

"One Ring to find them."

The Attack of the Clones 'Contravoisey' continues unheeded across the internet, and nobody agrees on it. But, we've continued our own little discussion on the messageboard, and if you want to be freaked out over the crazy-ass geekboys out there (and you all thought I was bad), head over to theforce.net and prepare to be weep tears of futility [they started petitions, for christsake!].

A happy happy 21st B-Day to my little sis' on Tuesday. I'm sure she had a blurry time of it all, and I hope she still has some energy left for her back-to-school visit at the end of the month...

Don't worry, Okay Okay got his money. Also, our hugs, kisses and wonton to Queen Mama Flo, who battled a vicious truck last week. We hope she's feeling better, and that Okay Okay does a nice dance for her in his Munsingwear undies.

Big Ups to Diggity for landing a role on NBC's Third Watch as a Junkie. (Typecasting...)

Got a chance to check out Perry Farrell's [Jane's Addiction, Porno for Pyros] new album while hanging with Klove over the weekend. It's got a definite drum-and-bass feel, but isn't strictly a dancey-feel. Some good stuff on there, and I'll probably pick up a copy soon--while I sit and pray for an extended Jane's tour this Fall (tenative) and a possible Jane's album of new material (rumored). Perry's website is quite excellent; it's what I always thought surfing the web would be like, with tons of animation and interactivity and enjoyable effort (but with the all the pretty flash & music comes a likely need for high-speed connections, kids). U2's flash website is similar. Through it, I found the most fantastic article detailing of the history of Jane's Addiciton. Read it. [Also, I reccommend Dave Navarro's soloalbum as well. Quite solid for a first solo effort.]

Ummmmmm, in other news if you want to get some cheap-ass ram to make your computer faster--head over to Crucial.com, and they'll tell you exactly what you need for your system, compatability garenteed! (I'm excited to almost hit 200Megs, myself.)

You know, I can't even watch the new Real World. The futility of it all drives me insane. Drag Queen Nicole went nuclear on Afro Malik and is now right up on my list as "The Person I'd Most Like To See Get Humiliated/BitchSlapped on the Real World"--tied with Coralbitch. I've listened to smackhounds mumbling on Canal St. make more sense than those two girls... Afro Malik is alright because he's somewhat intelligent, but it's more of 'default' liking than anything. Cancer Kevin is is in the same category as Malik. Barely Legal Rachel is an innocent, so she's a non-opinion until she gets dirty later in the season. The Singer Girl (who GiMp swears is going bald--look at the part in her hair...) already annoyed me with her "crush" on my namesake, Kevin (There's already been 2 Kevin's on the RW--any other names that have repeated?). Who's left? Mike. The Retarded Kid in class who, while annoying, you have to side with sometimes because the Hags in the back of the class pick on him. I wanted to stab my eyes out last night because of the episode, I tell you. I'm sure MightyBigTV will have a great recap of it for you [probably much easier to read than it was to watch, by my guess]. Crap crap crap crap crap. It's all a bunch of crap, and I can't stop watching.

And for this weekend, you slackers better get ready for some fun times, because fun time are to be had! Jedi Punk Rock is having a bDaY drinkie bash Saturday Night (which is alright for fighting) @ a "Martian" Bar, so for details go to the Events Page. And also, in anticipation of "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" Bobo Barth came up w/ the idea for a View Askew Film Fest. Friday Night: "Clerks" & "Mallrats". Sunday Afternoon: "Chasing Amy" & "Dogma". All DVD. All Special Editions. All Filled with miles of curses, along with obligatory star wars & comic book references. Check the messageboard for more details. Be there & soak up the nootchies. The rest of the events page has ballooned for August, thanks to the NYC Fringe Fest--where you will catch the likes of Salieri, Big Cock, BA, Gilps, & Baugh. Events Page, already!

Alright. Done for now. Sox vs. A's tonight on the Deuce. (Also on Thurs. night for y'all info...). Lt. Frank Castillo Returns. Off I go.

Who Is Your Daddy, And What Does He Do? (8/6/01)

Hi, my Stygian Triplets. I trust your weekends went well, as I had a fine time in "The Barre", as GiMp mentioned yesterday. A weekend filled with drink, drink, swimming, drink, eating, drink, Perfect Storm, drink, sunburn, and prOn. So I'm ouching this day, as my skin is a nice lobster-red. It hoits, oh it hoits!

The big news today is that the title for the next Star Wars is to be:

To which, some folk will like, some will hate, and some will go "Meh". The official 'splaination from Lucasfilm:

"Attack of the Clones joins The Phantom Menace, A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi as chapter titles in the six-episode Skywalker saga. It harkens back to the sense of pure fun, imagination and excitement that characterized the classic movie serials and pulp space fantasy adventures that inspired the Star Wars saga."

I think it does fit in with the rest of them, but it just seems strange, much like the Phantom Menace seemed when I first heard it. Anywhoo, let us know what you think @ the messageboard where the debate rages.

Also today, we got a review on Jedi Bunk from an unknown "Jedi Pen Name". Needless to say, it is somewhat scathing--so if Bunk ever expects to do anything at the box office (much less get greenlighted), he better take Pen Name's review to heart. Read it here.

And everybody's favorite Chinese Father is back in town with some correspondence to his favorite offspring. That's right folks, Darth Okay Okay is back with his THIRD page, this time, asking China for money and showing off how good he and Flo look all dressed up.

I am wearing a fan-taaastic foam hedwig-wig, given to me by my kind co-worker Bil. I look absolutely glam as I type this. GiMp enjoys wearing it as well. The cat, however is unresponsive to it.

Story from Kluv's Dad this weekend; He went to the Redskins Training Camp, as the Campus that houses it is one of his clients. Anyways, the school reps are giving my Dad a tour of the area, when they go around a corner and --*WHAM*!!!-- my dad slams right into someone, gets knocked back almost on his ass (to the point where the guy he bumped into had to grab him by the arm to keep him from falling) by...?

Who could my Dad, the lifelong Buffalo Bills Fan, have bumped into?
Who could my Dad at 5' 11" only reach the chin of?
Who is darker than a trillion midnights with the biggest smile you've ever seen?
Who is among the all-time leaders in Sacks?
Who does even my dad admit is "one of the most handsome guys" he's ever seen?

Ladies and gentlemen, my dad ran smack-dab into BRUCE SMITH. The future hall-of-famer, Bruce Smith. The defensive & team leader of the 4-Time AFC Champs (Laugh all you want, bitches), Bruce Smith. The--Washington Redskin, Bruce Smith. So, what does my dad do? Looks up, sees this man that we worshipped for a decade, and says:

"Bruce Smith. (smiles) Man, you broke my heart."
(Smith blinks in confusion)
(smirking) "I'm a lifelong Buffalo Bills Fan."

To which, Bruce gave a "big ol' Belly Laugh" for a few minutes. My dad introduces himself, and Bruce shruggs and says that he's just another "Cap Casualty". My dad then introduces his now-lifelong-friend All-Pro Bruce Smith to the other gentlemen, and asks Bruce another question:

"Please, Please tell me you'll at least sign back with the Bills for a day to retire a Bill like Thurman did..."

To which, Bruuuuuuuuuuce gave another belly laugh and remarked, "Yeah, Thurm told me about that...We'll see...", while smiling with that 'biggest teeth in the world' smile of his. (Note: my dad stated for the record that while most people think Bruce is a good looking guy on TV, he's ever "better looking" in person. Also, he is as dark as he seems to be). Then, after a few more words, Bruce thanked my dad, got on his bike (to avoid autograph hounds), and rode back to the dorms.

No, they're not 'Boo-ing', they're saying 'BRUUUUUUUUUUUCE!!!'

Well, my hookers, 'tis I... Gimpington, here with the latest. So Poopi Pants skipped town this past weekend, leacing me and the cat to our own devices. Mmmmm, devices. Anyhoo, he left at a clutch time, as I received the call to end all calls. In case you haven't read the messageboard (you know who you are I am ashamed) I will be heading off to beautiful Raleigh, NC to play (trumpet sound) Adelaide in Guys-n-Dolls. YEEHAW! Excited doesn't begin to describe it. We must all gather in mirth and merriment before my brief departure at the end of August. I also got paid 300 smackers to dance in a huge green lycra dance bag at the Waldorf for some computer company. Strange the things I do for cash, but I'm desperate. Besides, I learned an important lesson- NEVER FART IN A DANCE BAG. YOU WILL ONLY HURT YOURSELF. that is all I will say on the matter.

Duck and his faboo band, Mrs. Grundy played this past week at Downtime, bringing together plenty of Ithaca Alum. A great time was had by all as we enjoyed their most incredible set and touching Mike Baugh's bald head. Yum.My fave two songs of the eve were Monte Carlo and a punk "Borderline". Madonna be not proud. Duck, Diesel, and I gathered the following day to celebrate the week at Burger King. They both got the new Extreme Whopper, and gave it a thumbs down. "I don't know what you're in, but it's not MY face."

So here we are, Sunday. Poop has returned, sunburned and hung over. He's whining and wants me rub aloe on his Buddha stomach, so I will depart now. A grand week for all. Even Bro Al, who will be leaving in a couple of weeks to attend Pepperdine College in sunny Malibu. You think I'm NOT gonna visit?!?!?

Ciao wee ones.

(Some Extra's from Sr. Kluv)
1. Some Walken for your week (new Mystery Link, plus this and this).
2. "the Game" comes to life, but can you handle it?
3. And Russell Crowe's a poof.

Deeb has turned 27... (8/3/01)

It has been quite a while since any roid-rage, this makes Deeb fearful, as perhaps it means the supplements have lost their edge, and he will once again have to revert to watching midget amputee porn to gain that extra oomph. For what that extra Oomph is needed he has no idea, but it's nice to have that kinda thing laying around. But keep it away from children, last thing anybody wants is a three year old and big sack of Deeb's "oomph"... but as usual, Deeb digress's into incrimination.

Deeb found 1 grey chest hair upon his massive supplement filled chest, and plucked the bastard. If it was on the back it would be different story, as it would be a sign that Deeb getting older and must leave his group to seek out other females to impregnate... just like any other Thursday in Queens.

JEDI PUNK ROCK VS. THE MARTIANS

"Celebrate the birth of Punk with rude boys and girls @ the Mars Bar this Saturday Evening. Be sure and ride the spaceship to the martian's love hole" ... More Info

(ALL EVENTS, featuring the weekly "ED™ ALERT!!!")

One day I will dip

and race cars. Until then I

ride my bike, chew gum.

-Darth Rounders

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